Gestational Diabetes, now what?

One of the not-so-welcome sides of pregnancy that I didn't expect would happen to me is Gestational Diabetes. Ever since I was on varying levels of bed-rest following a cerclage procedure at 17 and a half weeks, I had started a food diary just to make sure I don't end up over/under eating. And I was doing pretty well with the carbs and calories and eating healthy and whole. Gave in to my cravings perhaps thrice during the whole 28 weeks and tried to keep as active as possible in my situation.

So when GD diagnosis hit, I was not expecting it. Like everyone else, talked to a diabetes educator and a dietician and revised my meal plan - the only changes from before being, adding more fat and not mixing fruit and milk at any one meal.

It has been about a week since I started monitoring my blood glucose levels. They are mostly under control and stable. But there are times when, for the same meal as the day before my levels are a little elevated. That confuses me. I don't want to go on medication. I really want to be able to control it with diet alone (exercise not being an option for me).

Is the two hour test exactly after two hours? does 10 mins make a difference? I wonder, because, two hours after lunch today my levels were 138 (a little elevated - the same meal, yesterday the levels were 111 - may be it is the mid morning snack where I had a tablespoon of raisins - sweet-tooth be damned) and exactly 8 mins later, the levels dropped to 127 which is more or less normal.

It is scary. I want to do the best for my baby - let's call her Mahati for today. I want to give her the best start possible. I want to keep her safe and happy. But what if I fail despite my best efforts?

I want reassurance that what I am doing is right. and that 138 is alright. I miss being my old self, with no health issues to worry about - all my sugar, bp, cholesterol levels were very well managed - until pregnancy happened. I want to be able to run, work-out, go where-ever and whenever.

On a happier note, my MFM doctor said we are doing great. But revoked my moving around privileges. He said it was time to 'get greedy' and aim for that elusive 36 week delivery. Mahati, during her ultrasound yesterday made sure she yawned nice and big for momma and gramma. She also blinked for us. How cool is that! She seems pretty content and was kicking away happily, unaware of the technician's growing frustration to catch her steady.

My baby. I fell in love all over again. I love you so bad. I need you to be healthy and happy. Mommy is doing her best, my princess.

26w 3d

Here I am at the gateway to my third trimester - 4 more days to go. Two months ago, I wasn't sure I would make it to this point. Four months ago, even less so. But here I am today, and that is all that matters.

I took up singing again. It is so much fun working towards something. I can't wait to be singing away to my baby - just like my dad did for me. He had a song for everything I did - eating, sleeping, dancing, bathing - you name it. My childhood was indeed a fairy tale and I was the princess. I hope to be able to give the same to my baby.

She very well might be a dancer already - all that kicking she does on the inside - either a dancer or a kick-boxer or both. I can't wait to see her. All I pray for, is for her to be happy and healthy and that I will be a good mom.

 I feel weird saying it, almost like I am jinxing it - but I think I love her already. Every time she kicks, my life suddenly makes sense again. I could just shut the rest of the world out with all its pain and ugliness and let her fill my whole being. My little baby, mommy loves you. At least for now, you are all mine, my princess.

Pregnant and proud

So I am not one of those people who got pregnant without intending to. I am also not one of those people who got pregnant even after intending to, for a long time.

I am one of those people who grovelled, bargained with god, hated the cosmos and cried myself to sleep hundreds of nights for over 5 years. So when I finally did get pregnant, it felt nothing short of miraculous. I thanked the universe, promised I will be a better human being and was all set to enjoy every little detail of this miracle.

The up-side of getting a long prayed for wish fulfilled is, all the not-so-fun stuff that accompanies it are actually coveted. I was proud to throw up. I loved the nausea - I wanted it bad. I would brag about my constipation. Never felt more gorgeous than now - in my puffy pregnant body, embraced every single pelvic exam and every ounce of weight.

Now that I am finally past looking 'just fat' and 'definitely pregnant', I realized that I get a pride-rush every time I am in public. It is like I am secretly showing off my baby bump to random strangers on the street.

And as though the universe has conspired to make this even more joyful, my mom is here early (due to a complication, but who cares). With my nearest and dearest around me, and finally stepping into the third trimester, I cannot be more grateful. All I wish for now is a healthy and happy baby.