26w 3d

Here I am at the gateway to my third trimester - 4 more days to go. Two months ago, I wasn't sure I would make it to this point. Four months ago, even less so. But here I am today, and that is all that matters.

I took up singing again. It is so much fun working towards something. I can't wait to be singing away to my baby - just like my dad did for me. He had a song for everything I did - eating, sleeping, dancing, bathing - you name it. My childhood was indeed a fairy tale and I was the princess. I hope to be able to give the same to my baby.

She very well might be a dancer already - all that kicking she does on the inside - either a dancer or a kick-boxer or both. I can't wait to see her. All I pray for, is for her to be happy and healthy and that I will be a good mom.

 I feel weird saying it, almost like I am jinxing it - but I think I love her already. Every time she kicks, my life suddenly makes sense again. I could just shut the rest of the world out with all its pain and ugliness and let her fill my whole being. My little baby, mommy loves you. At least for now, you are all mine, my princess.

Pregnant and proud

So I am not one of those people who got pregnant without intending to. I am also not one of those people who got pregnant even after intending to, for a long time.

I am one of those people who grovelled, bargained with god, hated the cosmos and cried myself to sleep hundreds of nights for over 5 years. So when I finally did get pregnant, it felt nothing short of miraculous. I thanked the universe, promised I will be a better human being and was all set to enjoy every little detail of this miracle.

The up-side of getting a long prayed for wish fulfilled is, all the not-so-fun stuff that accompanies it are actually coveted. I was proud to throw up. I loved the nausea - I wanted it bad. I would brag about my constipation. Never felt more gorgeous than now - in my puffy pregnant body, embraced every single pelvic exam and every ounce of weight.

Now that I am finally past looking 'just fat' and 'definitely pregnant', I realized that I get a pride-rush every time I am in public. It is like I am secretly showing off my baby bump to random strangers on the street.

And as though the universe has conspired to make this even more joyful, my mom is here early (due to a complication, but who cares). With my nearest and dearest around me, and finally stepping into the third trimester, I cannot be more grateful. All I wish for now is a healthy and happy baby.