Hi Laasyamma,
You recently got into the habit of asking 'Laasya em cheppindi' after saying something. It is like you want to know how we interpret what you said. Last week, while I was feeding you breakfast, you sang the barney song - I love you, you love me and where you sing 'kiss from me to you..' you paused and kissed me. I could have died that instant and have no regrets.
Well that is not entirely true. I worry about you - I don't want to die - not just yet anyways. I want to be there and protect you. I want to give you a good life. I want to see you grow up and accomplish things. I want you to have a good life and I want to be there to make it happen. I want to see you become a strong, independent and compassionate woman who is not afraid to be weak.
About this time last year, I went to a self-help program, where I was asked to list the reasons to live and I said I didn't have any - no body really needed me - except perhaps at some future time, my mom. Nobody would sure as hell miss me - again except may be my mom. You would be too young to remember, and you would be fine with daddy I said.
After a year of you - I don't feel that way anymore. I want to live. For You. I want to live - so I can make sure you are raised with love and responsibility. I want to live so there is someone who can fight for you when you are unable to. I want to live - so I can teach you to be a fighter which I know you are. I want to live another day to see you smile once again - to feel your tiny little arms around my neck and your sweet little lips on my cheek.
You make my life worth living.
You are the reason I get out of bed every morning. You are the reason I go to bed every night. You are the reason I do everything I do. I just pray that, when it is indeed time, I have enough courage in me to let you go - soar high, perhaps far away into a world of your own.
Yes, mommy loves you, sweet miracle!
You recently got into the habit of asking 'Laasya em cheppindi' after saying something. It is like you want to know how we interpret what you said. Last week, while I was feeding you breakfast, you sang the barney song - I love you, you love me and where you sing 'kiss from me to you..' you paused and kissed me. I could have died that instant and have no regrets.
Well that is not entirely true. I worry about you - I don't want to die - not just yet anyways. I want to be there and protect you. I want to give you a good life. I want to see you grow up and accomplish things. I want you to have a good life and I want to be there to make it happen. I want to see you become a strong, independent and compassionate woman who is not afraid to be weak.
About this time last year, I went to a self-help program, where I was asked to list the reasons to live and I said I didn't have any - no body really needed me - except perhaps at some future time, my mom. Nobody would sure as hell miss me - again except may be my mom. You would be too young to remember, and you would be fine with daddy I said.
After a year of you - I don't feel that way anymore. I want to live. For You. I want to live - so I can make sure you are raised with love and responsibility. I want to live so there is someone who can fight for you when you are unable to. I want to live - so I can teach you to be a fighter which I know you are. I want to live another day to see you smile once again - to feel your tiny little arms around my neck and your sweet little lips on my cheek.
You make my life worth living.
You are the reason I get out of bed every morning. You are the reason I go to bed every night. You are the reason I do everything I do. I just pray that, when it is indeed time, I have enough courage in me to let you go - soar high, perhaps far away into a world of your own.
Yes, mommy loves you, sweet miracle!
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